I just realized that I bought eighty rolls of toilet paper. It was supposed to be a guerilla grab-and-go. I saw the words “softest roll” and “sixteen pack”. These are, of course, the two most important things to consider when buying toilet paper – maximizing comfort and minimizing return trips.
While I was waiting for the cashier to replace my box of corn dogs with one whose hull wasn’t previously compromised, I noticed something about my sixteen pack. One end was bright yellow, and the words “25% FREE!” were stamped on it. It was actually a twenty pack! You can’t plan for this kind of serendipity. Or I guess you could. But then it wouldn’t really be serendipity. Dummy.
I was grinning ear to ear, clicking my heels through the parking lot, feeling like I’d just gotten away with murder, sweet sweet murder, until I tried to get the package of toilet paper into my car. It wouldn’t fit! Now, I remember from middle school that twenty regular rolls of toilet paper fit in a standard sedan, and these sure seemed like normal rolls to me, but I decided to consult the packaging again anyway.
They weren’t regular rolls! They were Mega Rolls! Four times (4x) the size of regular rolls! I don’t know how I didn’t notice it before, but here in my hand were eighty rolls of toilet paper, about to set off with me on a new adventure…
When is the last time you saw a “regular” toilet paper roll?