I read this:
These things are kind of dumb, aren’t they? Like this book my Dad always used to make me read, about how by just perception and attitude you can change your life. Or rather, if you have a good attitude, it will be easier to do the things you need to do to have a better life.
I don’t know if you can tell by a few of my previous posts, but I was kind of down for awhile, about a lot of things (not the least of which was work, which, it turns out is predicted for this time in my life by my astrological chart. Go figure). I’ve been trying to decide not to be. Dad always said “Your attitude determines your altitude”. A customer at work told me “attitude is a choice.” I talked to my boss about what I was unhappy about, and he reminded me that when we think everything is working against us, it’s sometimes a good idea to look in the mirror.
So I did, and I decided that I was going to work harder, and be a better member of our team, and I’ve got to tell you, since I decided to be happy, I’ve been happy. It didn’t hurt that an ex (of sorts) confessed her lingering crush on me, or that I got an intriguing job offer, but it’s mostly just trying to treat people kinder and being thankful for what I have, letting go of problems and taking control of my destiny and…and a lot of things on that dumb list that I linked to above. And it’s working.
I have a friend in AA. And when I asked what made them give up drinking, they said their shrink suggested it. “But I don’t have a problem drinking. These are problems I’m having with my friends.” Then the shrink pointed out that every story started out “I was drinking and…”. I think a part of me is committed to being an unhappy person. I think it makes me look better in black and white photographs, or a better comedian or writer, but really it’s just as much of a crutch as substances are for addicts. I don’t know why I want an excuse to act the way I do when I’m depressed, but acting that way doesn’t make me feel any better.
So I’m quitting. I think some of us get the idea that if “ignorance is bliss” then “bliss must be ignorance.” Even if it is, though, even if life is a pointless exercise of putting electricity through meat, where’s the harm in being happy meat? So I’m taking another look at that dumb list, and I’m going to give it a real college try. Good things are already coming to me. I can’t wait for them to keep on coming.