Springtime and Relationships – an essay

Springtime is nice, isn’t it?  Everyone seems to look forward to those first light-jacket days and birdsong mornings.  Spring is like watching Game of Thrones in reverse – “Winter is Leaving!”

But it’s also full of false hopes.  Themes of rebirth and resurrection make you think you’re going to start to take charge and fix those things you’ve always wanted to fix.  “This is the year” you say.  For me it’s always “This is the year I go shirtless at the beach”.

Want to guess what I’ve done to achieve that goal?  I signed up to write about BBQ online.  For free.

Spring; I’ve realized my relationships follow the same pattern as the seasons.  Spring is that first person that’s responsive to your smile, when you’re spending more time with them.  You think “this is nice.”

But the truth is you’ve just been cold enough for long enough that you can convince yourself that wearing shorts in 50-degree weather is as good as you’re going to get.  “This is all I ever really wanted” you’ll say.

And you walk around smiling like an idiot, not paying any attention when your friends say “really? shorts?”  And there are signs but you ignore them, and it seems like it really is getting warmer.  And you start to think, “I could get used to this” when – BOOM – snow in April.

She’s not sure if you’re committed, so she’s starting to withdraw.  And she’s right.  You’re suddenly thinking shorts were premature and you should seize the chance to put on some khakis.  She’s asking what you want, and there’s a vicious back and forth – hot, cold, hot, cold until finally you just give in and scream “HOT!”

And after about two weeks of summer you realize hot is not what you wanted.  Hot is smothering.  Every store offers an invitation to “come in and escape the heat!”  Not to mention, as soon as its hot, all other women simultaneously start to look amazing.  They wear skimpier clothes, they’re getting tan, keeping fit.  And smiling more.  Right. At. You.

You pretend that it’s great for a few months, but things start to cool down.  And you’re not sure anyone is going to understand, but it’s a relief!  Everyone seems to expect you to just love summer, but saying goodbye is easy; it’s mutual, amicable.

You dust off your light jacket and take a walk – by yourself! – through the park to look at the leaves.  You tell yourself, “I’m really more of a cold-weather person”.  And you believe it.

But this is just autumn.  And winter is coming.


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